Before I am called a blasphemer…
Let me explain.
The last few months have all about listening to God for me. My whole life I have been a talker. For those that know me well can attest to this fact. However, in the brokenness and confusion of the last few months I have been made silent. I have been forced to listen to those around me and listen to my inner self. I am sure you all have had this experience whether it be a day, a week, or months.
Moments where you are so tired of the world that you just go silent.
Moments where you are so numb in the struggle you cannot speak.
Moments where listening is the only option.
I never understood it when people told me they heard God. Part of me thought they were crazy and the other half hoped they were speaking truth. The majority of the time my earthly so called “intellect” doubted it. Now looking back I know why.
So let me explain to you how God started talking to me….by giving me the bird.
Well, actually 3 birds.
I was on a long run about a month ago. Usually that means I am really mad about something or just feeling flooded with anxiety. On these long runs I feel as though I am burning the anxiety right out of me. I love it. As I was about a mile in I was listening to the Jon Bellion song, “New York Soul, Pt.2.” At this point I was at the bottom of my rocky ocean. I was hurting. I was just plain upset. I felt more alone than ever before. The music had been playing in the background but I had not been paying much attention. I was consumed in my worry. All of a sudden a hawk swooped down right next to me causing me to heighten my senses. Immediately, I heard the lyrics, “I know the demons in the room will say it’s more that I can chew but now all I hear is the dinner bell.” God was telling me to feast.
2. The Pelican
About two weeks after God sent me the first bird He sent me another. My Mom had just visited me for three days. She flew all the way to Florida to keep me company and help get me all set up in my apartment. She cooked for me. We went shopping for stuff I still needed. We hung out. It was great. After the visit was over I drove her back to the airport. I watched her enter her gate at the airport and vanish. As I made my way out of the airport I started hearing Chris Tomlin’s song “Good Good Father.” I was so confused to hear a Christian song in the middle of the airport. Was I hearing things? I looked to find out where the music was coming from and saw a pelican statue hanging from the ceiling. Immediately, I was reminded of the Christian symbol of the pelican. Basically, the legend goes like: during famine the mother pelican would peck her own chest and feed her young her own blood to prevent them from starving. Thus, representing the sacrifice of Christ. I was at a time of famine and God sent me my mother to help and a pelican to remind me to be grateful.
3. The Eagle
A few days ago I felt overwhelmed by the pressure of school. Once again not knowing what to do I reasoned the best thing would be to get out of my apartment for a little. Run for a bit as usual. As I was leaving my apartment complex I could feel the weight and the worry once again consuming me. Rounding the corner there is a small pond. I saw a few cars stopped next to it which I thought was unusual. Looking at the pond I realized why. I saw an eagle floating on the water just like a duck. It was crazy. It was beautiful. It was God sending me another bird. The man in his truck looks at me and says, “You don’t see that everyday.” I nodded. A few moments later a man in another car walks down near the water turns to me and says, “You don’t see that everyday.” I got one last look at the eagle who remained calm on the water. I started my run again, looking up to heaven smirking and thinking, “You don’t see that everyday.”
Friends, God is sending us birds everyday. He is sending us people in our life that guide us. He is sending us messages through the wind. He is doing everything to remind us that we are His and seeking Him must be our number one priority.
With God, as Miley Cyrus puts it, “‘…now I’m as free as birds catching the wind.”