Why I Am Afraid of Guitars

In my last post I talked about how a single person can change your life for the better.

In just seconds, by a simple word or action, you become filled with hope.

Well, while it is great to hear about the positive consequences of our actions, I believe it is important to recognize the negatives.

I am sure you all can think of a time someone said something to you that you will never forget. Bullied in some way. Even just a few words. Talked down to. Laughed at.

I got one. Let me share it with you.

When I was about 10 years old, I really wanted to play the guitar. It looked freaking awesome. I loved the sound of the strings, and the fact that I could create something. Guitarists were badass. Plus, maybe I could use this skill in the future with the ladies haha.  After a few lessons with different teachers, I found a teacher who seemed really cool. He was always doing awesome riffs when he taught me. I was so excited.

pexels-photo-167446.jpeg

After a few lessons, I started to get the hang of it. Slowly and surely I memorized chords. I knew what strumming meant. My fingers were getting calloused.

Over the course of the year, I took lessons. However, I was also busy being a kid. I loved playing outside with my siblings and cousins. I loved drawing. I was involved at after school programs. So, some days I chose to do something else and not practice.

I vividly remember one day walking into my lesson knowing I had not practiced much at all. I was really nervous about it.

After I made my way through some song, my guitar teacher grabbed my song book. He took his pencil and drew a clown. Implying that this is who I was because I was playing so stupid. All I felt was complete inadequacy.

I brushed it off, but I know it deeply hurt me. Looking back now, I know why I lost my interest in guitar. Looking back now, I know that whenever I try to pick it up again and fail I immediately quit. Subconsciously, I associate the instrument with being inadequate.

That single action, from a person I admired, snatched my hope.

So, what are we to do with these moments? Moments that have caused us pain and developed in us an unnecessary fear response?

  1. We must reflect on them in order to recognize them.
  2. We must conquer them.

Over the last few weeks, I have been playing the ukulele. This summer I am going to dust off my guitar.

Inside me, there is a lot of fear and doubt.

Doubt that I don’t really even like playing it.

But, that is the biggest of all the lies.

We are so gifted at making up reasons to not succeed, to not initiate change, to not try.

In order to conquer your past, you must refuse.

Yes, utterly refuse. 

To listen to your flesh’s desire for inaction.

Act. Act now. Face your past. Face your future. Be uncomfortable. Feel the mental burn.

Reflect on why you do the things you do, and why you don’t do the things you don’t do.

 

Together, we will use the difficult moments of the past to create a stronger world.

 

So, go on. Play your music. Let the whole world hear your sound.

pexels-photo-316163.jpeg

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s