Wandering in Wonder Today

Tag: Christianity

• Bad times or Your time?

  Posted at 4:44 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 17, 2019

  

  “Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well and times shall be good. We are the times: such as we are, such are the times.”

  -St. Augustine

   

  Life is overwhelming. Most of us have so much going on right now we feel pulled a million and one different ways.

  Did I send that email? My test is coming up better study! Why are people being treated that way? Did I forget to call that person back? Why is there so much hatred? 

  We can’t seem to catch a mental break. So what do we do? Well I know the first thing I seem to do is blame the times.

  Because my head says, “If I blame the environment; it’s definitely not my fault.”

  It’s easy to blame the times in which we live for how we live.

  Yet, this is not what the Bible tells us nor what our hearts remind us of on the daily.

  “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”

  Romans 12:2

  Today, I encourage you to not blame the times for where you are at. Focus on using your free will to change the times for the better.

  When the world seems unjust; show others mercy.

  When the world is cruel; shower others with love.

  When the world breeds fear; live with courage.

   

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged author, Bible, blog, blogger, campus, Catholic, Christianity, Faith, Jesus, Romans, St.Augustine, truth, writer

• If I only had 60 seconds

  Posted at 2:53 am by wanderinginwondertoday, on January 29, 2019

  

  If I had 60 seconds left here is what I would say. I have my stop watch ready.

  3…….2…….1…….go

  Strive to make this world a better place for everyone. Look at the stranger in the eye. Hold the hand of a friend. Let the world know you care more than they think you do. Never quit. Always remain in zeal. Strive to show the world of the presence of God. Live to love. 

  and….60 seconds is up.

  I encourage you. Time yourself for 60 seconds.

  See what words spring from your heart.

   

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  Posted in Christian, reflection, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged 60 seconds, author, blog, blogger, Catholic, Christianity, creative writing, journal, love, poetry, writer, writing prompt

• Don’t Look Back

  Posted at 12:32 am by wanderinginwondertoday, on October 10, 2018

  

  How many times in your day do you look back?

  I’m not talking as you backup out of your parking spot.

  How many times in your day, do you think about the past?

  It might be the immediate past.

  Questioning ourselves like:

  Did I say what I needed to say?

  Was that weird?

  Did I get that question right on the test?

  Why did they humiliate me like that?

  Scanning the past in such a way is pure rumination.

  The majority of the time it does absolutely no good at all.

  It solves nothing and just leads to anxiety, uncertainty, and confusion.

  In the Gospel of Luke Christ explains what to do about what we have left behind in time.

  “Jesus said, No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”-Luke 9:62

   

  In this passage Christ tells us that in order to move forward we have but one choice. Stop turning our heads back to our past and focus solely on the work to be done in the future. Uncertainty and fear about the past is a weapon the devil uses very slyly. The enemy is like someone tapping you on the shoulder so you are forced to turn around. You feel the tap and out of instinct begin to ruminate.

  The difference rests in the choice. The choice to tighten our grip on the plow and focus on doing everything to reach the kingdom of God.

  Not all looking back is bad.

  Reflection differs from rumination.

  In reflection we are able to look back on what we have done or how we have been hurt in the past and make a choice. In reflection we are looking back to gain a greater understanding, which pushes us forward.

  Trench, Twenty One Pilots new album (which is awesome btw), touches a bit on rumination.

  In the song “Cut My Lip” we are told,

  Though I am bruised, face of contusions
  Know I’ll keep movin’, know I’ll keep movin’

  We do not need to look back at what has given us the bruises.

  We need; however, to keep moving.

  The lyrics continue…

  I keep on goin’ back

  Even though it’s me I abuse

  How true is this?

  The rumination needs to stop and a surge of zeal for the future needs to be the goal.

  So, this week.

  As the past creeps up and taps you on the shoulder.

  Don’t respond.

  Keep your hands on the plow.

  Focus on the Kingdom.

  Even though the bruises hurt, the cuts are deep, the sweat is stinging your eyes….

  Don’t look back.

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged Bible, blogger, Catholic, Christian, Christianity, cut my lip, Faith, Jesus, mental health, past, trench, twenty one pilots

• The Anchor Inside Each of Us

  Posted at 5:35 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on September 5, 2018

  

  There are situations in life, where fleeing seems ideal.

  It may be at the podium, when giving a talk to a giant crowd.

  It may be, when flipping over the exam and looking at question 1.

  It may be, when sitting in a doctors office waiting for the results.

  Everything in our very core shouts at us to flee.

  Our earthy vessels demand me pace, internally ruminate, leave the scene, and hide.

  However, we are called for something different.

  Within each of us their is an Anchor.

  This Anchor is Christ Himself.

  An anchor holds a ship. Whenever the waves crash and winds do all they can to move the vessel, the anchor holds it into place.

  The anchor is the roots that stem from the oak tree.

  Without an anchor, the boat is subject to all of the external forces.

  The waves carry it where they want. The winds push it where they want.

  We are very much like these little boats.

  Some days we may feel tossed around. Dunked under. Pushed by the wind.

  This is when we must remember the Anchor within ourselves.

  We must turn to Christ in our hearts and stand firm. Hold your ground with confidence.

  When you step up to the podium, remember Christ has you tied down to the ocean floor.

  When you open that exam book, remember Christ is right next to you.

  When sitting in the doctors office, remember that Christ is the divine Physician.

  Let us all remember the Anchor within our very hearts. Each of us had the ability to look within and shout. I am secure. I am safe. I am confident in God’s mercy and providence.

  Life give me a storm. I am not afraid. I am ready.

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged anchor, Bible, blog, blogger, boat, Catholic, Christian, Christianity, College, love, Motivation, religion, trust

• I Cried for a Different Reason

  Posted at 10:12 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on June 19, 2018

  

  I am 23.

  Jesus has been my Lord and my Savior since my earliest memory.

  I was raised in a family that valued going to Mass every Sunday.

  Every. Sunday.

  And I did.

  And when I was younger I was not the most fond of it. I remember my mother telling me, “When you are older, you will appreciate it.”

  In college is when the appreciation grew. But first I turned a bit away. The nightly prayers my family fostered in me, which I always said before midnight, seemed to be less important when I was talking to a girl. I still went to Church, but my prayer life suffered. In college I used a lot of excuses. Whether that be my workload, my sleep schedule, etc. I told myself that going to Church on Sunday and reading theological works (which I love to do) was enough.

  Over the past year, my prayer life has improved, but not because I necessarily chose it. Circumstances changed, and I was on my own. I hit a lot of walls and Christ was my only hope. I spent a lot of nights crying, hoping my tears would drown out my problems. I never before understood Christ’s experience at the agony in the Garden; however, I was given a little glimpse of it.

  As a Christian, I cannot firmly believe in Jesus if I do not acknowledge all the evil.

  Last week, as I wrote in the old blog post, I dealt with a spiritual battle.

  A battle I had never experienced before.

  Doubts about my faith literally were like canon balls to my gut.

  My faith felt like it had become a single dew drop in the desert.

  I was freaking petrified.

  So in this, I continued to do what I thought was necessary.

  I went to Mass.

  I read and read and read spiritual books.

  Hoping to discern an answer to all my woes.

  At the end of the week, with the help of my Christ-filled girlfriend, I came across a passage that allowed me to look back and see my issue.

  Matthew 10:39 ( a passage I had read tons of times before this moment)

  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

  All this time.

  The past 23 years.

  I was doing nothing but try to find my life.

  I was doing all I needed to do in school in order to get where I needed to go.

  I was talking to all these girls to try to make a future family for myself.

  I was trying to find answers to all my anxieties, fears, and dreams to build a secure life.

  And all this finding was leading to nothing but loss.

  So, what to do next?

  Lose my life? What does that look like?

  It looks like a whole lot of prayer. Prayer is turning your mind away from your physical body outward. It is an escape through conversation with God.

  It looks like a whole lot of trust. Trust that all this bad God is using for my good. Trust that Jesus Christ is mercy itself.

  It looks like a whole lot of love. Small daily sacrifices for others. Self-love by forgetting myself. Loving God with a continuous overflowing heart. In every moment loving God for the moment.

  Friends, I hope this small post can have a giant impact on your heart.

  Let go of YOUR life today and allow God to fill it with His grace and mercy.

  Pray, trust, and love.

  Cultivate a relationship with Christ.

  If you do this, your tears of fear, uncertainty, and doubt will turn into tears of utter joy and love.

  You will begin to cry for a different reason.

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Bible, blogger, Catholic, Christian, Christianity, crying, Faith, Holy Spirit, inspirational, Jesus, love, prayer, religion

• Before the Suicide Note is Written

  Posted at 10:30 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on June 8, 2018

  

  Over the last few months, news of suicide has been aired all over the media.

  Prominent people who seemed to have very content and happy lives chose to take their own life.

  Suicide continues to be discussed because it so hard to understand: for those who have never had suicidal thoughts/feelings.

  Mental illness can be equated to getting a bad injury.

  Lets say a broken arm for example.

  You’ve never broken your arm. You’ve never not been able to use your arm. So when you see someone with a broken arm you can only imagine what they are going through. You can imagine how difficult it is to get up in the morning. You can imagine how hard it is to get dressed. You can think about how painful it is to break a bone. But all in all. You can never feel what they are feeling unless you experience it first hand.

  You may have broken a finger and try to empathize, but most of the time it does not do justice to the other’s problem.

  Whether it be depression, anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia, bulimia, anorexia etc. one can never know the full extent of the mental anguish. You may try to remember a time you were very sad, and believe this is exactly what depression is like. You may have moments of tidiness and assume this is how someone struggling with OCD feels. With mental illness, this is very difficult to do and more often than not perpetuates false stereotypes (such as OCD only being about cleanliness).

  People say mental illness is invisible. It is so difficult to treat because unlike a broken arm, the public cannot see it.

  I contest this statement.  

  It is visible. Very. If we are paying attention.

  For example. If my brother had a rough day at school. He may get into the car and be less talkative. He may turn up the radio a little bit. He might avoid a lot of eye contact. He may not eat as much dinner.

  I notice this because I know my brother. I know how he acts during a normal day. I notice this because I am not focused solely on myself. If my brother walked into the car and I was blaring the radio and not connecting with him, I may never know how he feels. The more I think about myself, the less I would think about my brother.

  Therefore, I would take action. I would ask him what happened. I could ask him why he does not seem like himself. Did he fail a test? Did a friend say something mean to him? Was he just tired? I could explain what I noticed and look for a solution.

  I understand that with mental illness sometimes it may be a snap of the finger moment. An individual with depression or bipolar disorder may become depressed very rapidly which would prevent a friendly ear from seeing the signs.

  However, I believe this is the minority.

  Mental illness shows its face. It is subtle, but visible. We must be on the watch.

  I write today to urge you to take action before the suicide note is written. Ask a friend why they seem so down lately. Get lunch with a friend that seemed really anxious all week.

  Listen. Listen. Listen. 

  We as a species are very astute when it comes to noticing an abnormality. As a kid I am sure you played those games where you had to spot the difference between two pictures. One picture had a flower pot with two flowers the other a flower pot with three. We have been trained to notice differences. If you could identity it in a game as a child you can identify it now in the people in your life.

  Love. Love. Love. 

  Deny yourself and take time out of your day to love others. Did your friend seem a little sad? Go hang out with them and get ice cream. The minute your mind starts saying things like, “They are okay, I have a lot to do etc..” stop it. Even if nothing is wrong do you think your kind act won’t be noticed? How do you know it will not have a long term impact? You don’t. 

  Educate Yourself. 

  Read up on mental illness to dissolve your stereotypes. Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression? Do you know the different types of depression? Do you know the differences between all the eating disorders? Do you know that OCD may have absolutely nothing to do with germs and neatness? The more you educate yourself the more capable you will be to notice problems, take action, and recommend counseling.

  Before the suicide note is written, we all have a responsibility to…

  Listen intently.

  Love whole-heartedly.

  Educate Ourselves and Others.

  Through our actions, I pray at least one less suicide note will be written. 

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  Posted in mental health, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged anorexia, anxiety, bulimia, Christianity, Depression, Jesus, mental health, mental health awareness, mental health counseling, mental illness, OCD, suicide, suicide note

• His Palms are Sweaty

  Posted at 12:51 am by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 24, 2018

  

  We have all been there.

  So nervous, our palms are like little lakes.

  And then, of course, you are going to have to shake someone’s hand right away.

  Ashamed of the fact, that they now have to grip onto your slippery fingers.

  Are you a member of the clammy hand club? Because I sure am.

  Sweating, to me anyway, reminds me of humanity.

  We cannot escape it. It keeps us cool in the summer. It shows up under our armpits when we go on a first date. It embarrasses us when we have clammy hands. It stings our eyes when we go on long runs.

   

  The other morning I was just waking up. Super groggy and going in and out of sleep.

  I was delirious, and out of nowhere a thought popped into my mind,

  “Jesus sweat”

   

  For some reason, this little thought struck me. I could not stop thinking about it.

  I saw Christ in the garden, with palms sweaty in anticipation of his Passion.

  I saw Christ carrying the cross, sweating on the way to His crucifixion.

  I saw Christ, preaching to the apostles on a hillside with his hair drenched from scorching sun.

  Knowing of the divinity of Christ, sometimes it has been difficult for me to understand His humanity. It has been hard for me to empathize with the fact that He fully understands the human condition.

  We know He understands pain through His crucifixion.

  We know He understands loneliness through His betrayal.

  We know He understands anger, as He walked through the temple.

  For some reason, meditating on the fact that Christ sweat has opened my eyes up to His humanity. It has allowed me to trust that Christ gets it. Our Lord understands the trials and tribulations of our time here on earth.

  So, next time the world has got you sweating. Take heart! Because physiologically our Lord experienced the same thing.

  When your palms are sweaty, remember Christ in the garden.

  When your hair is drenched, meditate on our Lord’s preaching.

  When you are exercising, thank the Lord for carrying the cross.

  His palms were sweaty friends, let this give you comfort.

  For it is a comfort to remember, that our Lord gets it.

   

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Bible, blog, blogger, Catholic, Catholic teen, Christianity, Faith, Jesus, mental health, prayer, religion, spiritual

• 23 years old, 23 lessons

  Posted at 5:27 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 14, 2018

  

  23 years old.

  Dang.

  I feel like I was just road tripping back from Waco turning 22.

  23 year old.

  Damn.

  I learned a lot this year.

  Thanks be to God for that.

  Here are 23 things I learned.

  1.When you are at rock bottom, you can only look up to God

  -At the start of this year and a lot of the way through it I was deep into despair. In that I only had God. Because of this, I am so thankful. I learned that He is all I will ever need. Good or bad, I will praise His awesomeness.

  2. Family is the reason

  -I have been away from my family every year since I turned 18. Everyday I grow closer and closer to them. When I am home I learned to never waste a single freaking moment. Family is the reason I am persevering.

  3. Medicine is not what you think

  -There is a lot of cynicism and despair in the field of medicine. I started school thinking everyone was out to save the world. Not at all the case. But because of this fact, I learned it is important to stand out. To care and love. To bring God into the field.

  4. People are hurting

  -I learned a lot this year about mental illness. I learned about the people around me struggling to get up in the morning. I learned that mental pain is the worst of all.

  5.People are lonely

  -I live alone this year. As an extrovert it literally broke me. I felt loneliness a lot. I had no time to do anything but study so I secluded myself. I am so grateful for my loneliness. I can now empathize with all those alone whether that be in nursing homes, hospitals, or prisons.

  6. Friends will bring you back

  -When I visited my college friends I was brought back. To my old self. I was able to rekindle my love for life. They saw me as I was an loved every bit of me. Friends are lifesavers.

  7.Finding her

  -I always thought that finding “her” would change me. It definitely did. It wrecked me. It allowed me to come face to face with my flaws and do all I can to become a man of character. She showed me my vices so I could become a man of virtue. ❤ Love does not care about distance.

  8. Procrastination

  -It will always be a thing. I am doing it right now. However, there is a such thing is positive procrastination.

  9. Poetry

  -Poetry allows me to unbury my emotions and serve them on a platter.

  10.Writing

  -Blogging has allowed me to take my innermost thoughts and show them to the world. I am so grateful for those who read my words and can relate.

  11. Studying

  -One can always study harder. One can always learn more. Keep pushing.

  12. Hydration

  -If I could go back I would tell my past self to drink a crap ton more of water. It has given me such a clearer head.

  13.Church

  -My Church and young adult group has kept me focused and faithful. I learned this year that finding a Church to grow in faith is everything.

  14. Human touch

  -Human connection can save lives. A small pat on the shoulder or a hug will change the world.

  15. Tears

  -I used to joke with my old college roommate that I could not cry. Some days I wanted to but I just could not do it. This year I have cried more than I have ever before. Tears will come and go. I learned a lot about my humanity through my tears. Even Jesus wept.

  16. Gratitude

  -This year I truly felt the love. Thank you for all those supporting Pouring Echoes 🙂

  17.Joy

  -I do not think I understood what joy was until this year. Now I know.

  18.Adventure

  -Make everything an adventure and you will win at life.

  19. All things will work out for good

  -If I could go back and change anything from this year I would not. God knew what He was doing. Romans 8:28.

  20. + and – of social media

  -Be a producer not a consumer.

  21. Cooking

  -I learned that I could cook myself a freaking great dinner. For all those that knew 21 year old Nick. This is a great accomplishment.

  22. Wake up and Praise

  -Starting morning off denying oneself and going to God changes the course of the entire day.

  23. God’s love in every second

  -You can do all things for the glory and love of God. Studying, cooking, working, praying, all can be done for Him. If you do this, everything will fall into place.

   

  I love you all. Thank you for 23 great years.

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, mental health, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged 23, Bible, birthday, blog, blogger, Christianity, encouragement, Faith, lessons, poetry, religion

• Heart Rate and Jesus

  Posted at 2:32 am by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 8, 2018

  

  Heart rate tell us a lot about our state of mind.

  If you have a fast heart rate a few things could be happening.

  -You might be anxious

  -You might be exercising

  -You might have just woken up from a nightmare

  If you have a slow heart rate a few things could be happening.

  -You might be relaxing

  -You might be in a cold shower

  -You may be in a deep sleep

  

  Lately, I’ve been paying a lot of attention to my heart rate. It allows me to get outside of my head and notice how my body is responding to any given situation. I may not notice I am anxious but by paying attention to my heart rate I am made aware that I most likely am. If my heart rate is low, I am probably very focused on a task, such as studying.

  Today, I thought about my heart rate but I also thought about Jesus and His heart.

  I thought about how in times of distress, such as flipping over the tables in temple, Christ had a fast heart rate.

  I thought about Christ focusing as a carpenter and having a slow heart rate.

  I thought about Christ’s heart rate going from slow to fast as He heard Lazarus had died.

  I thought about the agony in the garden, and how Christ’s heart must have been pumping so fast He sweat blood.

  The beauty of thinking about Christ’s heart is the reminder….our Lord UNDERSTANDS.

   

  

  Jesus had a physical body that reacted to the human emotions of the world.

  Is this not the most comforting thought?

  We are not alone in our joy, sadness, anxiety, fear.

  So next time you are stressed and your heart is exploding out of your chest…think of Christ.

  When you are relaxing and your heart rate is low….think of Christ.

  When your heart rate is all over the place…think of Christ.

  By remembering the humanity of Christ we can further appreciate His divinity.

  Allow your heart rate to be a constant reminder of Christ’s love for you.

  Jesus gets it friends.

  Allow this thought to fill you with peace.

  

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged anxiety, blog, Catholic, Christian, Christianity, cross, Faith, heart rate, Jesus, love, mental health, prayer, Roman Catholic

• Why I Am Afraid of Guitars

  Posted at 7:04 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 3, 2018

  

  In my last post I talked about how a single person can change your life for the better.

  In just seconds, by a simple word or action, you become filled with hope.

  Well, while it is great to hear about the positive consequences of our actions, I believe it is important to recognize the negatives.

  I am sure you all can think of a time someone said something to you that you will never forget. Bullied in some way. Even just a few words. Talked down to. Laughed at.

  I got one. Let me share it with you.

  When I was about 10 years old, I really wanted to play the guitar. It looked freaking awesome. I loved the sound of the strings, and the fact that I could create something. Guitarists were badass. Plus, maybe I could use this skill in the future with the ladies haha.  After a few lessons with different teachers, I found a teacher who seemed really cool. He was always doing awesome riffs when he taught me. I was so excited.

  

  After a few lessons, I started to get the hang of it. Slowly and surely I memorized chords. I knew what strumming meant. My fingers were getting calloused.

  Over the course of the year, I took lessons. However, I was also busy being a kid. I loved playing outside with my siblings and cousins. I loved drawing. I was involved at after school programs. So, some days I chose to do something else and not practice.

  I vividly remember one day walking into my lesson knowing I had not practiced much at all. I was really nervous about it.

  After I made my way through some song, my guitar teacher grabbed my song book. He took his pencil and drew a clown. Implying that this is who I was because I was playing so stupid. All I felt was complete inadequacy.

  I brushed it off, but I know it deeply hurt me. Looking back now, I know why I lost my interest in guitar. Looking back now, I know that whenever I try to pick it up again and fail I immediately quit. Subconsciously, I associate the instrument with being inadequate.

  That single action, from a person I admired, snatched my hope.

  So, what are we to do with these moments? Moments that have caused us pain and developed in us an unnecessary fear response?

  1. We must reflect on them in order to recognize them.
  2. We must conquer them.

  Over the last few weeks, I have been playing the ukulele. This summer I am going to dust off my guitar.

  Inside me, there is a lot of fear and doubt.

  Doubt that I don’t really even like playing it.

  But, that is the biggest of all the lies.

  We are so gifted at making up reasons to not succeed, to not initiate change, to not try.

  In order to conquer your past, you must refuse.

  Yes, utterly refuse. 

  To listen to your flesh’s desire for inaction.

  Act. Act now. Face your past. Face your future. Be uncomfortable. Feel the mental burn.

  Reflect on why you do the things you do, and why you don’t do the things you don’t do.

   

  Together, we will use the difficult moments of the past to create a stronger world.

   

  So, go on. Play your music. Let the whole world hear your sound.

  

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged blog, blogger, Catholic, Christianity, encouragement, Faith, guitar, inspiration, Jesus, lyrics, Motivation, music, self-help

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