I Can’t Be With You Yet

 

Dear Future Bride,                                                                                                                

You see, I have been pretty patient; at least I think I have for the past 21 years. Patience is definitely not my best quality. My Mom always told my siblings to pray for our future spouses (I think she’s been praying I find you for a while lol). I think today is a day where I really start doing that. I don’t believe that you need to know someone to pray for them. I pray that God gives me the courage to pursue you. I pray that God protects you until we meet and makes your days bright. Whatever choices you are making, I pray you are kept safe from all the evil of this world.

I wonder what color hair you will have? Blonde, brunette, black, or maybe even red? But does that stuff really matter anyway? I care more about how many adventures we will go on. I care more about how many times we will stay up until the sun rises just having deep conversations. I care more about having someone by my side to watch the stars at night.

I think my fascination with outer space all started when my Dad showed me a meteor shower when I was very young. I remember he got me up in the middle of the night. I threw my big puffy jacket on and waddled out the front door. I stood in the middle of our front yard. My eyes were glued to the sky as each meteor passed overhead.

I counted 44 meteors that night. How do I remember a number like 44 when this was 14 years ago?

No clue.

I imagine that when you see something so beautiful you cannot get it out of your head.

You will be my meteor shower.

There are many things I do not know about you.

I do not know what you will look like. I do not know what your laugh will sound like. I do not know when or where I will meet you. I do not know if I have already met you. I do not know if I will ever meet you.

There are some things I know about you already.

I know you are smart. I know you are curious. I know you care about serving the poor. I know you are adventurous. I know you are trustworthy. I know you love others. I know you put God first.

I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that I will hold you in the future.

 

With all my love,

Your Future Husband.

___________________________

 

Dear Future Husband,                                                                                                                   

            You see, it hasn’t always been easy for me in the relationship world but when I met you, it made all the tears, the heart break, the awkward breakup conversations go away. Because if I hadn’t gone through those, I wouldn’t be in the position I am with you now. I know that God has handpicked you for me and I, for you. I thank Him for giving me that courage to say yes when you asked me on that first date, just because my heart has been scarred one too many times. I pray that you continue growing into the man God has created you to be and I pray that you will continue to pursue and grow in your relationship with him for the rest of your life as I have already seen you do.

            You are handsome, funny, witty, but do those things actually matter in the grand scheme of things? No, I’m more excited about the things we will pursue together when we are married. The numerous adventures around the world, the many movies we will watch in our little home, especially snuggling on the couch after coming home from long day of work. Most importantly, I care about the support and love we will feed into each other for the rest of our lives. Something we will vow to do before we embark on this chapter of our lives.

            I remember when I was young, around the age of 12, and my parents were yelling at each other downstairs. I was frightened, scared, that something was wrong with their relationship; that it was going to end in the worst-case scenario. I emerged from my room when the fighting seemed to have ceased. I walked downstairs expecting to only see one of them but instead found my parents lovingly sitting together at the kitchen table talking and laughing. They had said their apologies and realized they were both wrong, for yelling at the other and overreacting over some little issue. It was this moment that taught me the resilient power of love.

            Sure, they may fight but one thing is for sure:

            They never and will never stop loving each other.

           

            I pray that when we too have our lows, because life isn’t perfect and neither are we, that we stay irrepressible; that we grow from the tough moments and not fall apart because when I say my vows it means that I never and will never stop loving you.

      

            There are many things I know about you.

            I know what you will look like. I know what your laugh sounds like. I know when and where I met you. I know that I am lucky to have met you and lucky to have you by my side.

            We learned that it wasn’t easy, that love gets tough sometimes but one thing is for sure. We are steady, we are here, and this love is here to stay.

            I pray for our future together. I pray for our future family. I pray for you, because sometimes I still can’t believe that God has actually put you in my life.

            With infinite years of love,

 

        Your Future Wife

 

In collaboration with @itisnosecret@wordpress.com

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Girls Don’t Deserve Roses

To all my women readers,

In a few hours it will be Valentine’s Day. Ever since childhood, we have engrained images in our our minds about this special day.

Valentine’s day cards, chocolate, teddy bears, and especially roses.

Lots of pink and red everywhere.

The first couple years of college, I thought about how special this day was for a lot of girls all over campus (some do not care much for it). I knew the feeling of being noticed and getting flowers meant so much to certain girls that did not have a special someone in their life. Even as a guy I can empathize. To be given gifts and to be noticed feels good.

Gifts demonstrate acknowledgement. 

Gifts illustrate that someone cares.

Gifts make us smile. 

Therefore, for the last couple of Valentine’s Days, I decided to give many of the girls in my life flowers. Cause why not right? Not necessarily in a romantic way (well, maybe a few) but just to show them that someone cared on this day. I loved seeing them smile. I loved making it a surprise. I loved letting them know someone was thinking about them on Valentine’s Day.

However, my attitude has changed this year.

This year I will not be buying flowers.

This year I have developed a new motto,

“Girls Don’t Deserve Roses.”

Before anyone gets angry at me…let me explain.

I am not anti-rose. I think flowers make a beautiful gift.

As I sit with friends and joke about the Bachelor every once in a while a sadness strikes me. I observe all of these beautiful women stare at a single rose that this guy Nick is holding. The way in which they stare is as if the rose is the last antidote and they are ill. When they do not receive the rose I can see their hearts shatter.

They feel rejected.

They feel lonely.

They feel like they messed up.


As I reflect on this, it is very much like Valentines Day. Some women in my life I know will feel hurt tomorrow because they do not receive a flower or gift from a man in their life. Others may not care at all. However, to the one’s that it does impact they may feel as though they are not attractive. They may feel like something is wrong with them. They may even feel like they did something to deserve loneliness.

I am here to tell you today that girls do not deserve roses:

Girls deserve much much more.

As we see in the Beauty and the Beast roses die. Roses and other gifts are a great way to show appreciation but to me….that is to easy.

I want to and I hope all men want to live in such a way to show all the women in our lives that they deserve so much….every.single.day.

To all my women readers.

You are worth more than a few petals and a stem.

You are worth more than a few chocolates.

You are worth more than a nicely written card.

I encourage you to wait for a man who keeps on giving gifts. Each and every day.

The gift of treating you like a best friend. 

The gift of listening to you.

The gift of having deep conversations with you.

The gift of cheering you up.

The gift of being there for you, praying with you, praying for you, etc. 

Girls. You do not deserve roses. You do not even deserve a bouquet.

You deserve gifts that won’t wilt.