Wandering in Wonder Today

Tag: inspiration

• The Fear Paradox

  Posted at 2:11 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on August 28, 2018

  

  Fear has been on my mind a lot the last couple of weeks. I’ve been reflecting on how much of my life is not “lived” because I am afraid. The interesting thing about fear is that we may not even notice when we are being fearful. It has us chained and yet we do not even realize that our hands are tied and our feet are bound.

  I don’t like that idea and I am sure you don’t either.

  What gets me a little bit more worked up is the very fact that fear is not of God.

  Constantly in the Bible and by the words of really wise spiritual leaders that fear is in fact from the devil. Fear is preventing us from doing the will of God. It is the devils greatest tool. How many times are we told to “be not afraid.”

  We are told constantly.

  Of course we are human. We are subject to fearful emotions, battles of the day, pain and misfortune. However, is there a choice to be afraid?

  While reflecting on fear I thought of St.Mother Teresa’s quote,

  “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

   

  What about the paradox of fear?

  By fearing loneliness, many of us hide away creating our own prison cells.

  By fearing hurting others, we avoid those we love and hurt them by mere omission.

  By fearing failure in our classes, we are paralyzed and do not study, leading to failure.

  The evil in this world is using fear to cause us to create our own downfall. The demons cannot harm us. The devil has no power over us. However, evil is constantly seeking to manipulate our free will. Evil is doing everything it can do to cause us to destroy ourselves.

  You will feel afraid. 

  Just like Daniel in the lions den.

  I am sure the lions did not just leave him alone down there.

  I’m sure they still growled, still showed off their shiny teeth.

  I’m sure they walked around him and sniffed him pushy him back with their noses.

  But through it all, Daniel trusted in God and waited.

  I encourage you all today to stare fear in the face. Allow it to growl and shout at you. Let it whisper lies into your ears. Allow it to show you the doom.

  And in the midst of it all….puff out your chest.

  Smile.

  Rise up.

  The Lord is here. He is ever present. You are His child.

  Be not afraid.

  Walk upon the water during the storm, keeping your eyes ALWAYS fixed on him.

   

   

  ***Thank you all for your constant support. If you want to get notified when I post be sure to follow this blog 🙂

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged blog, blogger, Catholic, Christ, Christian, Faith, fear, fear paradox, Holy Spirit, inspiration, Jesus, Motivation, poetry, religion, trust

• Hiccups for Jesus

  Posted at 3:50 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on July 15, 2018

  

  A few morning’s ago I was struck with a tragedy: hiccups that would not go away.

  I don’t know what it was about these hiccups, but they were intense.

  You know, the kind that like shakes your whole body?

  

  They were obnoxiously loud, and echoed through my house (my sleeping family must not have been happy.)

  That morning I decided to go to morning Mass at a Church about a five minute walk from my house.

  Being late, I took my car for the 1 minute drive.

  As I was driving, a thought came across my mind.

  “Maybe, you should not go. Your hiccups will disrupt everyone.”

  I imagined all the people in the Church staring at me.

  However, I labeled this the voice of the enemy and decided going was more important.

  Hiccups and the fear of embarrassment weren’t going to stop me from doing what I wanted.

  Doing what I knew was right.

  As I made my way up the Church driveway, the hiccups persisted.

  “Hold them in. Hold them in. Focus. Hold them in.” I repeated in my mind as I opened the back door of the Church. 

  Being late, I walked in right behind the priest.

  “Hold them in. HOLD THEM IN. Don’t you dare…”

  The minute I genuflected, before going into my seat, I let out the biggest hiccup of all time. 

  THE SECOND  my knee hit the ground it was as if all the hiccups of my entire life decided to jump from my throat.

  

  It. Was. So. Loud. 

  I was so startled from the hiccup that my hiccups went away!

  The Mass continued and I did not hiccup one bit.

  This little experience taught me quite a few things I wanted to share with y’all.

  The first being to push forward in doing what you know is right regardless of the whispers of the enemy. Humiliation and the fear of being humiliated stop so many of us from pursuing the truth. Fear sucks the perseverance out of us, when instead it can actually propel us. For example, when David faced Goliath. I am sure he had fear as he looked at the giant and all he had was a slingshot. However, David harnessed the fear and used it to show his true faith. In the midst of a thunderstorm of fear, he chose to look up towards Heaven and trust in God. He chose to use the power God had given him.

  

   

  This experience reminded me of the humor of God. Often times, in our suffering world we neglect to look at the humor of truth. When I sent out the giant hiccup, it had me smirking in my seat. The hiccup was so freaking loud. Instead of dwelling on the embarrassment, I thought about how I was cured from my “ailment” by the very ailment itself.

  I was reminded that our weaknesses are actually our strength. As seen in 2 Corinthians 12:9

  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

  I fought and fought and fought the weakness of my hiccups but in reality through that weakness I saw Christ more and more. As I walked into that Church, I had no choice but to accept my problem and just put it in Christ’s hands. Maybe I would get told to leave because I was being disruptive. Maybe I would be embarrassed. Maybe I would hiccup the entire time. But that did not matter. I knew what to do, and in the moment of weakness I had to place my trust in Him.

  Friends, I encourage you this weak to keep moving forward. Put on the armor of God and when you feel inadequate to enter into His house, go anyway. Do not listen to the lies the enemy whispers in your ear. Trust in Him. Listen to the ache in your soul. Put on the armor of God and harness the faith.

  So next time you have the hiccups, think of Him.

  For in this human weakness, the truth became much clearer.

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, reflection, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged blog, blogger, Catholic, Christian, Faith, health, hiccups, inspiration, Jesus Christ, prayer, religion, spirituality

• Feelings and Spiritual Battle

  Posted at 4:34 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on June 15, 2018

  

  Have you ever found yourself having an amazing week?

  You are super at peace with the world?

  However, almost immediately desolation strikes.

  Out of left field. 

  You find yourself on a spiritual battlefield, and you are totally not prepared for it.

  ________________________

  When this happens, you start to grapple with feelings.

  When this happens, you start to doubt during prayer.

  When you talk to others, you feel no purpose.

  When you think about yourself, all you can see is evil.

  These moments are difficult. They are waves the devil uses to try to drown us. These moments are storms that seem to never run dry. Rain keep coming. Lightening and thunder keep blazing. You are struggling to stay afloat.

  In these times, the devil uses your feelings to consume you.

  You Feel scared.

  You Feel like you messed up.

  You Feel guilt.

  You Feel the weight of your own humanity.

  It is extremely difficult to not listen our feelings when they are at the forefront of our minds.

  So what do you do?

  You pray, but the doubts persist.

  You keep moving forward, but the sadness keeps striking.

  You take action, but you still feel the weight of the water around you.

  Evil’s greatest tactic is consuming us with feelings of guilt. We are paralyzed by it. It causes us to only look within. The selflessness we teach as Christian’s is so much more difficult.

  This is precisely why you must persist.

  No matter how you “feel” keep persisting.

  Matthew 7:7…”knock and the door will be opened.”

  In this passage Christ did not tell us how long we must knock.

  When you start to knock you may feel hopeful that the Lord will open the door.

  But after a month of knocking you may start to doubt his mercy.

  The Lord and the apostles constantly remind us to persist, persist, persist.

  Have hope in the Lord’s plan. Always.

  So when you feel like the most unbelieving person ever. Keep praying.

  When you feel like you messed up. Keep striving to do good.

  When you feel guilty every second. Keep being selfless.

  When you talk to others and feel worthless. Keep loving others.

  Friends, I encourage you today to keep knocking. Knock until your knuckles bleed. Knock as the world shouts “you are crazy.” Knock when thoughts of doubt, despair, and guilt consume your mind.

  For when the door is opened.

  It will all be worth it. 

   

   

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, mental health, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged blogger, Catholic, Christian, Faith, Holy Spirit, inspiration, Jesus, prayer, religion, spiritual battle, writers

• This is why life is hard.

  Posted at 6:01 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 9, 2018

  

  A few questions we often ask ourselves is,

  “Why is my life so hard?”

  “Why did this happen?”

  “When will I be happy?”

  And many more similar questions…

  In all of these we seem to be calling out to God to explain the answers.

  “God, what gives?”

  And this is exactly why life is so hard. 

  In Matthew 16: 24 Christ tells us,

  “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

  A major problem with Christian living today, is the “deny themselves” part. People seem to think that denying themselves means donating a little extra on Sunday, or doing some service work, or maybe holding the door open for a stranger.

  Christ did not call us to a life of nice deeds, but a life of radical love.

  Christ is calling us to action here. Action that must happen every second of our short lives.

  How many times a day do you look inward instead of outward?
  How many times a day do you dissect and analyze your cross instead of looking towards His cross?

  How many times in a day do you use excuses to prevent you from loving those around you?

  I for one, do this everyday. The modern term for not denying oneself would be

  “getting in your own head.”

  Got a test coming up? Analyze yourself, make up a million scenarios about messing up, procrastinate, refocus, think about not being what you want to be in life…etc.

  Got in an argument with a friend? Analyze yourself, make up a million scenarios why you were right and they were wrong, shy away from forgiveness….etc.

  Got bills to pay? Analyze yourself, ask where you messed up in your budget, make up a million scenarios as to how you are gonna get this fixed..etc.

  See, the problem is not the situations, but our outlook on the situations.

  We are a culture so obsessed with turning our eyes inside ourselves. We have the constant false belief that by looking in we can fix the situation.

  We need to develop the habit of forcing ourselves to look up at Christ on the cross.

  By focusing outward, we are denying ourselves. We are establishing that in this moment we have a cross to bear, BUT we are walking with Christ. We will follow Him and carry our cross with dignity and courage.

  The hardest thing in life is to suffer alone.

  This is why life is so hard. We are constantly choosing EVERY SINGLE DAY to suffer alone. God is shouting at us to look towards Him and to never ever ever be alone in our suffering, yet we choose to stare at our problems instead of the Creator.

  Friends, in order to make life not so hard we need to remember Christ is right here at all times.

  As St. Patrick once said,

  Christ with me,
  Christ before me,
  Christ behind me,
  Christ in me,
  Christ beneath me,
  Christ above me,
  Christ on my right,
  Christ on my left,
  Christ when I lie down,
  Christ when I sit down,
  Christ when I arise,
  Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
  Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
  Christ in every eye that sees me,
  Christ in every ear that hears me.

  Today, I encourage you to refocus your gaze on Jesus.

  Unite your suffering with His suffering.

  Deny yourself, forget you even exist.

  And become a solider for God, so strong, so confident, so radical…

  All the fears on the battlefield transform into another opportunity to be victorious

  They become another opportunity to give glory to God.

   

   

   

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  Posted in Christian, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged anxiety, Bible, blogger, Catholic, Christian, Faith, inspiration, Jesus Christ, mental health, prayer, religion

• Why I Am Afraid of Guitars

  Posted at 7:04 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 3, 2018

  

  In my last post I talked about how a single person can change your life for the better.

  In just seconds, by a simple word or action, you become filled with hope.

  Well, while it is great to hear about the positive consequences of our actions, I believe it is important to recognize the negatives.

  I am sure you all can think of a time someone said something to you that you will never forget. Bullied in some way. Even just a few words. Talked down to. Laughed at.

  I got one. Let me share it with you.

  When I was about 10 years old, I really wanted to play the guitar. It looked freaking awesome. I loved the sound of the strings, and the fact that I could create something. Guitarists were badass. Plus, maybe I could use this skill in the future with the ladies haha.  After a few lessons with different teachers, I found a teacher who seemed really cool. He was always doing awesome riffs when he taught me. I was so excited.

  

  After a few lessons, I started to get the hang of it. Slowly and surely I memorized chords. I knew what strumming meant. My fingers were getting calloused.

  Over the course of the year, I took lessons. However, I was also busy being a kid. I loved playing outside with my siblings and cousins. I loved drawing. I was involved at after school programs. So, some days I chose to do something else and not practice.

  I vividly remember one day walking into my lesson knowing I had not practiced much at all. I was really nervous about it.

  After I made my way through some song, my guitar teacher grabbed my song book. He took his pencil and drew a clown. Implying that this is who I was because I was playing so stupid. All I felt was complete inadequacy.

  I brushed it off, but I know it deeply hurt me. Looking back now, I know why I lost my interest in guitar. Looking back now, I know that whenever I try to pick it up again and fail I immediately quit. Subconsciously, I associate the instrument with being inadequate.

  That single action, from a person I admired, snatched my hope.

  So, what are we to do with these moments? Moments that have caused us pain and developed in us an unnecessary fear response?

  1. We must reflect on them in order to recognize them.
  2. We must conquer them.

  Over the last few weeks, I have been playing the ukulele. This summer I am going to dust off my guitar.

  Inside me, there is a lot of fear and doubt.

  Doubt that I don’t really even like playing it.

  But, that is the biggest of all the lies.

  We are so gifted at making up reasons to not succeed, to not initiate change, to not try.

  In order to conquer your past, you must refuse.

  Yes, utterly refuse. 

  To listen to your flesh’s desire for inaction.

  Act. Act now. Face your past. Face your future. Be uncomfortable. Feel the mental burn.

  Reflect on why you do the things you do, and why you don’t do the things you don’t do.

   

  Together, we will use the difficult moments of the past to create a stronger world.

   

  So, go on. Play your music. Let the whole world hear your sound.

  

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged blog, blogger, Catholic, Christianity, encouragement, Faith, guitar, inspiration, Jesus, lyrics, Motivation, music, self-help

• The Stranger Who Changed My Life

  Posted at 2:58 pm by wanderinginwondertoday, on May 1, 2018

  

  Have you ever felt your life change in but an instant? Most of you may know what I am talking about.

  Maybe, the moment a loved one passed away?

  Or, the moment you fell in love with your future spouse?

  Possibly, when you won an award for something?

  Those moments are great and all, but they are not what I am going to talk about today.

  Today, I want to talk about a micro moment. A micro moment is such a small event it may seem insignificant. However, micro moments continue to change my life everyday. They may mean nothing to the friend or stranger that spoke or acted, but they significantly impacted my life.

  Here is one of my micro-moments:

  The Patient 

  At my medical school, we have fake patient encounters. This allows us to practice the clinical side of medicine. Towards the end of my first semester, I had a fake clinical encounter scheduled. The entire first semester I faced a lot of adversity. I was at a school I did not intend on going to. I had not found many friends. I was struggling to keep up academically with my peers. I did not have much support. And day in and day out I was reminded that I was not good enough. I thought about quitting every night. It would be so easy wouldn’t it?

  It is time for my patient encounter. I knock on the door and have a patient who apparently is experiencing burning sensation in his chest. I started the exam and ask him exactly where the pain is located. I talk to him like I would with any other patient, but he stops me midway through taking his patient history.

  My first thought was that I royally screwed up.

  

  Patients are not supposed to break out of character during these encounters.

  It is a no no.

  So, for him to do this I must have said or done something pretty bad.

  He starts shaking his head.

  My palms start to get very sweaty.

  My heart rate is elevated.

  He looks me dead in the eyes and says,

  “You have ******* potential kid.”

   

  Shocked by his compliment I did not know what to say.

  

  Over the entire first semester, positive words were not what my ears were used to hearing.

  The man continued to explain why he thought I would make an excellent doctor.

  This conversation lasted a minute or so and that was it.

  I never saw the man again.

  But, this micro moment changed my life. 

  In my bedroom, above the light switch, is an index card with this man’s praise. His comment to me, on that random day in November, gave me the hope in myself that I was missing. He could have just gave me a good score and moved on with it.

  But no.

  He stopped me dead in my tracks and filled me with encouragement.

  He told me to fulfill what I was meant to do.

  He saw a future me that I did not think existed.

   

  It is our duty to create these micro moments for the friends and strangers around us.

   

  Let us always remember this today, and live a life of love and encouragement.

   

   

   

   

   

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged anxiety, blog, blogger, Catholic, Christianity, Faith, health, inspiration, medical school, medicine, mental health, physician, Student

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