Live.

God did not give you

a sword to chip at

your insecurities

or a shield

to bury yourself in comfort.

You are a man

a woman

with fire in your blood

What you touch turns to purpose

You are composed of Divine scaffolding

A rose blooming through snowfall.

 

Nothing kills me more,

to see a young face,

aged with the wrinkles of apathy

Take what numbs you and bury

your sword into it

Take what seeks to cling to you

and deflect it with your shield.

-nJb

23 years old, 23 lessons

23 years old.

Dang.

I feel like I was just road tripping back from Waco turning 22.

23 year old.

Damn.

I learned a lot this year.

Thanks be to God for that.

Here are 23 things I learned.

1.When you are at rock bottom, you can only look up to God

-At the start of this year and a lot of the way through it I was deep into despair. In that I only had God. Because of this, I am so thankful. I learned that He is all I will ever need. Good or bad, I will praise His awesomeness.

2. Family is the reason

-I have been away from my family every year since I turned 18. Everyday I grow closer and closer to them. When I am home I learned to never waste a single freaking moment. Family is the reason I am persevering.

3. Medicine is not what you think

-There is a lot of cynicism and despair in the field of medicine. I started school thinking everyone was out to save the world. Not at all the case. But because of this fact, I learned it is important to stand out. To care and love. To bring God into the field.

4. People are hurting

-I learned a lot this year about mental illness. I learned about the people around me struggling to get up in the morning. I learned that mental pain is the worst of all.

5.People are lonely

-I live alone this year. As an extrovert it literally broke me. I felt loneliness a lot. I had no time to do anything but study so I secluded myself. I am so grateful for my loneliness. I can now empathize with all those alone whether that be in nursing homes, hospitals, or prisons.

6. Friends will bring you back

-When I visited my college friends I was brought back. To my old self. I was able to rekindle my love for life. They saw me as I was an loved every bit of me. Friends are lifesavers.

7.Finding her

-I always thought that finding “her” would change me. It definitely did. It wrecked me. It allowed me to come face to face with my flaws and do all I can to become a man of character. She showed me my vices so I could become a man of virtue. ❤ Love does not care about distance.

8. Procrastination

-It will always be a thing. I am doing it right now. However, there is a such thing is positive procrastination.

9. Poetry

-Poetry allows me to unbury my emotions and serve them on a platter.

10.Writing

-Blogging has allowed me to take my innermost thoughts and show them to the world. I am so grateful for those who read my words and can relate.

11. Studying

-One can always study harder. One can always learn more. Keep pushing.

12. Hydration

-If I could go back I would tell my past self to drink a crap ton more of water. It has given me such a clearer head.

13.Church

-My Church and young adult group has kept me focused and faithful. I learned this year that finding a Church to grow in faith is everything.

14. Human touch

-Human connection can save lives. A small pat on the shoulder or a hug will change the world.

15. Tears

-I used to joke with my old college roommate that I could not cry. Some days I wanted to but I just could not do it. This year I have cried more than I have ever before. Tears will come and go. I learned a lot about my humanity through my tears. Even Jesus wept.

16. Gratitude

-This year I truly felt the love. Thank you for all those supporting Pouring Echoes 🙂

17.Joy

-I do not think I understood what joy was until this year. Now I know.

18.Adventure

-Make everything an adventure and you will win at life.

19. All things will work out for good

-If I could go back and change anything from this year I would not. God knew what He was doing. Romans 8:28.

20. + and – of social media

-Be a producer not a consumer.

21. Cooking

-I learned that I could cook myself a freaking great dinner. For all those that knew 21 year old Nick. This is a great accomplishment.

22. Wake up and Praise

-Starting morning off denying oneself and going to God changes the course of the entire day.

23. God’s love in every second

-You can do all things for the glory and love of God. Studying, cooking, working, praying, all can be done for Him. If you do this, everything will fall into place.

 

I love you all. Thank you for 23 great years.

 

 

Fastball to the Heart

Here is a poem I wrote about suffering, love, pain, and rejoicing.

I pray it resonates with you ❤

 

fastball.

i often pray

that God use me

as a window of His love

yet, whenever He tries to open me

and allow the fresh air to pour out

i choose to remain locked

so in order to answer my prayer

He allows a baseball

to soar right into my core

and shatter me

some are quick to hate God for this

angry at the broken glass

cursing the Windowmaker

but i can’t help but smile up to Heaven

thanking God for the fastball

right to the heart

because now the love is pouring out of me

and i have no lock to stop it.

-n.J.bellacicco

Instagram @n.j.bellacicco

If you liked this post, please subscribe to my blog 🙂

pexels-photo-773063.jpeg

 

Are you afraid, or are you playing it safe?

Have you ever reflected on a hesitation?

Have you ever asked yourself, am I afraid or am I just playing it safe?

I think about this question on the daily. So tonight, I wrote a poem about the difference.

Here is a little poem that will be included in my book (going to self-publish it soon be on the lookout).

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Check out my Instagram for more: @n.j.bellacicco

To me this is precisely the difference. Safety involves legitimate concerns. For one to not hold their breath while underwater is just crazy. It does not make any sense. However, sometimes as humans we get carried away. We allow the safety to morph into irrational and frightening fears. Hence, when we are living our lives, fear pops up.

It is irrational for one to hold their breath in the shower; however, the feared mind thinks otherwise. Just like when you are underwater, in the shower you are soaked. In the shower the water is weighing you down.

Friends, today I encourage you to not hold your breath in the shower. I pray that you will reflect on all of your actions and spot the difference. 

 

To the High School “Late Bloomer”

High school was tough for me. Trying to fit into the crowd was all I wanted. It’s no surprise that this happens in high schools across America. This poem is dedicated to all the late bloomers out there getting pushed around because of it. If you know a young man or woman that you think could relate to this poem send it their way! It could make all the difference.

 

full grown

I didn’t start out full grown

my bones did not listen to my wishes

please, grow! please let my eyes meet their eyes. 

the squeak did not want to leave my voice

and all the girls heard it

and all the boys saw weakness before my strength

I didn’t start out full grown

I bought shoes too big for my feet

this was the only hope I had

I dreamed of a girl who cared about

the size of my heart, not my legs

I didn’t start out full grown

and I thank the Lord for that gift

because when I begged God from the pew

when I cried and asked Him to use my tears

to water my limbs

He chose to water my soul.

-n.J.bellacicco

 

Follow me on Instagram for more poetry @n.j.bellacicco

A Poem About Taking Action

 

get off the treadmill

we complain that nothing

is changing

yet, we won’t get off the

treadmill.

we will go nowhere

if we stay comfy

running at a set pace

on a safe path we already know.

 

Follow my instragram account @n.j.bellacicco for more poetry.

My book “Pouring Echoes” can be found on Amazon and BarnesandNoble!

Pouring Echoes! My Poetry Book Link 🙂

 

To my readers, sorry I’ve been pretty distant. School has been tough and I’ve been working a lot on my new poetry book which will be centered around the theme of mental illness.

 

 

Girls Don’t Deserve Roses

To all my women readers,

In a few hours it will be Valentine’s Day. Ever since childhood, we have engrained images in our our minds about this special day.

Valentine’s day cards, chocolate, teddy bears, and especially roses.

Lots of pink and red everywhere.

The first couple years of college, I thought about how special this day was for a lot of girls all over campus (some do not care much for it). I knew the feeling of being noticed and getting flowers meant so much to certain girls that did not have a special someone in their life. Even as a guy I can empathize. To be given gifts and to be noticed feels good.

Gifts demonstrate acknowledgement. 

Gifts illustrate that someone cares.

Gifts make us smile. 

Therefore, for the last couple of Valentine’s Days, I decided to give many of the girls in my life flowers. Cause why not right? Not necessarily in a romantic way (well, maybe a few) but just to show them that someone cared on this day. I loved seeing them smile. I loved making it a surprise. I loved letting them know someone was thinking about them on Valentine’s Day.

However, my attitude has changed this year.

This year I will not be buying flowers.

This year I have developed a new motto,

“Girls Don’t Deserve Roses.”

Before anyone gets angry at me…let me explain.

I am not anti-rose. I think flowers make a beautiful gift.

As I sit with friends and joke about the Bachelor, every once in a while a sadness strikes me. I observe all of these beautiful women stare at a single rose that some guy is holding. The way in which they stare is as if the rose is the last antidote and they are ill. When they do not receive the rose I can see their hearts shatter.

They feel rejected.

They feel lonely.

They feel like they messed up.


As I reflect on this, it is very much like Valentines Day. Some women in my life will feel hurt tomorrow because they did not receive a flower or gift from a man in their life. Others may not care at all. However, to the one’s that it does impact they may feel as though they are not attractive. They may feel like something is wrong with them. They may even feel like they did something to deserve loneliness.

I am here to tell you today that girls do not deserve roses:

Girls deserve much much more.

As we see in the Beauty and the Beast roses die. Roses and other gifts are a great way to show appreciation but to me….that is too easy.

I want to and I hope all men want to live in such a way to show all the women in our lives that they deserve so much….every.single.day.

To all my women readers.

You are worth more than a few petals and a stem.

You are worth more than a few chocolates.

You are worth more than a nicely written card.

I encourage you to wait for a man who keeps on giving gifts. Each and every day.

The gift of treating you like a best friend. 

The gift of listening to you.

The gift of having deep conversations with you.

The gift of cheering you up.

The gift of being there for you, praying with you, praying for you, etc. 

 

Girls. You do not deserve roses. You do not even deserve a bouquet.

You deserve gifts that won’t wilt.

100 words to fill you with zeal.

I know life is hard. But know, you are built to break down walls. You were made to conquer with love. I know you are sad. But you have joy resting in your veins and peace sleeping in your mind. You are strong. Braver than a front line soldier. You face your day with a sword made of trust and a shield crafted with confidence. The morning sunrise is your battle cry. The night stars are your spectators. You plant flowers of compassion and shout echoes of empathy. Today is not your day. All days are your day. Go now.  

 

*Follow me on Instagram @n.J.bellacicco

 

 

Send God an Email

 

God why have You not sent me an email?

 

if God sent you an email

with an outline of your life

i reckon you’d mark it as spam

so stop checking your email

put down your phone

do what needs to be done

and send God an email

Subject: my future

“Thank You for the silence. For in it i uncovered myself. In the silence i heard that my footsteps make noise and my words make sound.”

-n.J.bellacicco

 

This is a poem I wrote on this rad Tuesday morning. If you like poetry you can follow my Instagram account: @n.J.bellacicco.   I post a new poem everyday. Also my book can be found on Amazon search “Pouring Echoes.”

POURING ECHOES LINK 🙂

Thanks friends for your constant support.

 

 

 

 

My first book “Pouring Echoes” RELEASED NOW

Hey friends.

Hey family.

Hey strangers.

Today, December 1, 2017, is an awesome day for me.

My first book of poetry, “Pouring Echoes” was released on Amazon!

The poems in this work were compiled with a purpose.

They were written in both times of utter despair and complete elation.

They were written in coffee shops and during lecture.

They were written from my heart to fall softly into yours.

I believe poetry is one of the most beautiful art forms. To be able to take truth and grind it down into just a few sentences.

I love that about it.

Is it not amazing that a few sentences can change your whole world view in a matter of seconds?

In “Pouring Echoes” I take you on that journey.

On how life kicked me in the butt and made me fly sometimes in the same day.

I wrote these poems with complete rawness on my mind. Vulnerability is the definition of courage in my opinion.

So, yeah. This is me throwing a plug for my book.  (Link at the bottom)

Because if I can make someone say,

“Wow, I feel the exact same way.”

“I’m not alone in this.”

“I have been hurt just like that.”

“Life is awesome.”

or shed a tear or two…

It was so worth it.

So come follow me on this echo we call life. Scream out at the world. Listen for a reply. And find the truth.

 

POURING ECHOES LINK 🙂