Girls Don’t Deserve Roses

To all my women readers,

In a few hours it will be Valentine’s Day. Ever since childhood, we have engrained images in our our minds about this special day.

Valentine’s day cards, chocolate, teddy bears, and especially roses.

Lots of pink and red everywhere.

The first couple years of college, I thought about how special this day was for a lot of girls all over campus (some do not care much for it). I knew the feeling of being noticed and getting flowers meant so much to certain girls that did not have a special someone in their life. Even as a guy I can empathize. To be given gifts and to be noticed feels good.

Gifts demonstrate acknowledgement. 

Gifts illustrate that someone cares.

Gifts make us smile. 

Therefore, for the last couple of Valentine’s Days, I decided to give many of the girls in my life flowers. Cause why not right? Not necessarily in a romantic way (well, maybe a few) but just to show them that someone cared on this day. I loved seeing them smile. I loved making it a surprise. I loved letting them know someone was thinking about them on Valentine’s Day.

However, my attitude has changed this year.

This year I will not be buying flowers.

This year I have developed a new motto,

“Girls Don’t Deserve Roses.”

Before anyone gets angry at me…let me explain.

I am not anti-rose. I think flowers make a beautiful gift.

As I sit with friends and joke about the Bachelor, every once in a while a sadness strikes me. I observe all of these beautiful women stare at a single rose that some guy is holding. The way in which they stare is as if the rose is the last antidote and they are ill. When they do not receive the rose I can see their hearts shatter.

They feel rejected.

They feel lonely.

They feel like they messed up.


As I reflect on this, it is very much like Valentines Day. Some women in my life will feel hurt tomorrow because they did not receive a flower or gift from a man in their life. Others may not care at all. However, to the one’s that it does impact they may feel as though they are not attractive. They may feel like something is wrong with them. They may even feel like they did something to deserve loneliness.

I am here to tell you today that girls do not deserve roses:

Girls deserve much much more.

As we see in the Beauty and the Beast roses die. Roses and other gifts are a great way to show appreciation but to me….that is too easy.

I want to and I hope all men want to live in such a way to show all the women in our lives that they deserve so much….every.single.day.

To all my women readers.

You are worth more than a few petals and a stem.

You are worth more than a few chocolates.

You are worth more than a nicely written card.

I encourage you to wait for a man who keeps on giving gifts. Each and every day.

The gift of treating you like a best friend. 

The gift of listening to you.

The gift of having deep conversations with you.

The gift of cheering you up.

The gift of being there for you, praying with you, praying for you, etc. 

 

Girls. You do not deserve roses. You do not even deserve a bouquet.

You deserve gifts that won’t wilt.

Girls Don’t Deserve Roses

To all my women readers,

In a few hours it will be Valentine’s Day. Ever since childhood, we have engrained images in our our minds about this special day.

Valentine’s day cards, chocolate, teddy bears, and especially roses.

Lots of pink and red everywhere.

The first couple years of college, I thought about how special this day was for a lot of girls all over campus (some do not care much for it). I knew the feeling of being noticed and getting flowers meant so much to certain girls that did not have a special someone in their life. Even as a guy I can empathize. To be given gifts and to be noticed feels good.

Gifts demonstrate acknowledgement. 

Gifts illustrate that someone cares.

Gifts make us smile. 

Therefore, for the last couple of Valentine’s Days, I decided to give many of the girls in my life flowers. Cause why not right? Not necessarily in a romantic way (well, maybe a few) but just to show them that someone cared on this day. I loved seeing them smile. I loved making it a surprise. I loved letting them know someone was thinking about them on Valentine’s Day.

However, my attitude has changed this year.

This year I will not be buying flowers.

This year I have developed a new motto,

“Girls Don’t Deserve Roses.”

Before anyone gets angry at me…let me explain.

I am not anti-rose. I think flowers make a beautiful gift.

As I sit with friends and joke about the Bachelor every once in a while a sadness strikes me. I observe all of these beautiful women stare at a single rose that this guy Nick is holding. The way in which they stare is as if the rose is the last antidote and they are ill. When they do not receive the rose I can see their hearts shatter.

They feel rejected.

They feel lonely.

They feel like they messed up.


As I reflect on this, it is very much like Valentines Day. Some women in my life I know will feel hurt tomorrow because they do not receive a flower or gift from a man in their life. Others may not care at all. However, to the one’s that it does impact they may feel as though they are not attractive. They may feel like something is wrong with them. They may even feel like they did something to deserve loneliness.

I am here to tell you today that girls do not deserve roses:

Girls deserve much much more.

As we see in the Beauty and the Beast roses die. Roses and other gifts are a great way to show appreciation but to me….that is to easy.

I want to and I hope all men want to live in such a way to show all the women in our lives that they deserve so much….every.single.day.

To all my women readers.

You are worth more than a few petals and a stem.

You are worth more than a few chocolates.

You are worth more than a nicely written card.

I encourage you to wait for a man who keeps on giving gifts. Each and every day.

The gift of treating you like a best friend. 

The gift of listening to you.

The gift of having deep conversations with you.

The gift of cheering you up.

The gift of being there for you, praying with you, praying for you, etc. 

Girls. You do not deserve roses. You do not even deserve a bouquet.

You deserve gifts that won’t wilt.

Quote Me On This One

Powerful quotes are my favorite. When I say powerful I mean something that causes a KOMA moment for me.  I use this acronym a lot to describe moments where I was awoken to a new perspective. A moment where I was sitting in my daily coma and all of a sudden I was AWAKE. #WOKE

 I’ll write a blog on it some day but what it stands for is (Knocked On My Ass).

Yes, I said ass. It was necessary to use this word or else the acronym would have been KOMB (which I feel does not get the same message across hehe).

Anyway, I have so many motivational quotes plastered all around my room. On my phone I have probably screenshotted over 200 quotes…no joke.  To me a quote whether it be theological, philosophical, or even humorous can shed a lot of light on some hidden truths. The thing I like about a good quote is that it is a perfect summary of a specific truth. Sometimes a quote on the topic of hope for example can pack a greater punch than 20 books combined.     

I recently came across this quote attributed to St. Augustine.

“To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek Him the greatest adventure; to find Him, the greatest human achievement.”

KOMA moment right away. The second I read this quote it brought a change in perspective for me. It allowed me to see that loving,seeking, and finding God is everything I (we) will ever need.

The topics of romance, adventure, and achievement are constantly sought by humankind. These topics are the main points in our dreams, movies, books, etc. It is very easy to see how these topics can be tied into our earthly life. Whenever I think of these topics my immediate thoughts are not tied to God.

When I think romance….boy meets girl…they fall in love…married…babies….happily ever after.

When I think adventure….get on plane…travel world….eat new foods…meet new people.

When I think achievement….finish school…get degree…be good at what you do…be respected.

However, after reading this quotation I was able to view these topics in the light of God.

1. Romance

Wow, to fall in love with God. To some that might sound crazy, but to me that sounds like the epitome of Heaven. Christ showed his love for us when He gave Himself for us on the cross. In each of his wounds is an eternal outpouring of love. Therefore, the romance that I associate with my future wife does not even come close to the love God showed me/shows me everyday. Everyday I must strive to love Him with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might. In order to do this what must I do? Every great romance involves sacrifice. I must look to do whatever it takes to show Christ an ounce of the love he showed me as he hung on the cross. Heaven is where we will be united with our Creator. Seeing Christ face to face is the ending of the perfect romance.

Next time you feel a desire to fall in love, I encourage you to reflect on the love your Creator has shown you on the cross.

 

2. Adventure

The greatest adventure…sounds rad. Ever since I was a little kid I have had a heart for adventure. I used to stay in my grandmothers woods for hours adventuring around. To this day I want to adventure by traveling the world. I decided to go to school halfway across the country from home…why….FOR THE ADVENTURE. I am reminded today that adventure does not necessarily mean to travel. Adventure can happen in the solitude in our very home in prayer. When we go on an adventure we are seeking something. It could be a new experience. It could be an adrenaline rush. It could be the desire to connect with others. Seeking God is the ultimate adventure. As we are drawn closer to our Creator through different practices such as prayer, fasting, service we are receiving the love of God in our hearts.

Next time you are seeking adventure, I encourage you to walk to your local Church, your bedroom, your desk at school, and pray that God continues to be by your side on this journey of life.

3. Achievement

Finding Him…the greatest achievement. Achievement is drilled into our heads the moments we are learning how to read and write. What do you want to be when you grow up? What are your goals? What are your dreams? These are questions that I still wonder about today. I am reminded today that although it is important to ask ourselves this question it is also vital to ask, “Have I found God today?” It is very easy to allow the ideas of worldly achievement the reality that pursuing God in all we do is the ultimate good.

Next time you are pushing for achievement, I encourage you to reflect on whether or not you have made God the center of your day. Is pursuing God your ultimate goal?

 

In conclusion, God is everything we need. He is romance, adventure, achievement and so much more. To view God in such a way is exciting, interesting, and thrilling. Why do we not view God in such a way more often?

St. Augustine wrote this quotation about 1,600 years ago. The beauty of God’s nature has not changed one bit.

You can quote me on this…

If you reflect on the quotation—I can assure you that it will continue to fill you with joy and a new perspective on the awesomeness of our savior Jesus Christ.